I’m watching Disney’s Once Upon a Time with my daughter, because we love fairy tales. In this episode the Evil Queen turned Mayor brews herself up a “forgetful” potion, so that she can leave her past behind and move forward as a mom. I’m watching that brew, which looks a little bit like lime-aid with some dry ice in it, and I wish I could brew my own.

I’d really like to forget the last five years. Five years ago, I parted ways with my main client for two reasons. One is because we didn’t see eye-to-eye in our business approach; and the second was because I wanted to focus on this project. At first I saw it as a God-send, but then it got topsy-turvy. I believed God would provide; but our finances were a disaster.

Money wasn’t the only issue. Very few people understood the point of what I was doing. Putting scripture on billboards was something nearly everyone was apprehensive about. I received blank stares, and protests, and friends looked at me like deer-in-headlights when I described the project. For an introvert who had entered adulthood with raging self-esteem issues it was too much. I had grown up so alone. As an adult faith found me, and in Christ with God, was the first place I felt welcomed. With that, at the time I received belief, came the welcoming of the church. In the church I had a new caring family, and they meant the world to me. Receiving rejection from the people I cared about and admired most was so hard.

But I was called to do this project. I couldn’t drop it. Why wasn’t it being received? I still don’t know. Could it have been because of mistakes I made? Sure. Definitely. When you start a business, tread ground that you’ve never tread before— you’re clumsy and you make a lot of mistakes. I made them. Could it have been because people were afraid of what I would put on billboards? Yes, I can totally understand that. Could it have been because people didn’t want to be so public? Sure, I suppose. Lots of reasons, but when I would go in prayer, God kept calling me forward. What didn’t make sense was the lack of support from every direction—and God’s constant gentle call forward. Every avenue I pursued, every support I sought—it was almost miraculous how little support I received. A few dear friends stayed by my side, and they are shining lights in those five years.

Now that it’s built, people are looking up and saying, “Oh wow. It really is a good thing. It’s amazing really. Wow, Jessica, this is awesome.”

But after the last five years, it’s so little, so late. I’ve spent five years in discouragement. Discouragement from every turn. When I saw other similar ministries flourishing. When I saw other people around me being supported in their endeavors. When as I sought support, the uncomfortable looks around me increased. During this time, God taught me to rely on him. I pressed him over and over again, “Can I just let it go? Can I quit? Can I throw it in the trash and pretend it never happened?” Always, he just quietly called me to the very next step. It was so un-comprehensibly frustrating. I hated proceeding privately with something so ill-received. I had always enjoyed the affection and approval of my church family, but I had to press on without it. I felt more alone than I had since I was a teenager, something I hadn’t experienced since I came to know Christ.

The toll this has taken on my faith, I still don’t understand. Every week I struggle to sing worship songs. Tears just flow out of my eyes and sometimes I have to leave. I hear sermons, calling us to follow the Holy Spirit, to seek his instruction for our lives. The sermons frustrate me because I know that I’ve knelt in prayer, listening prayer, waiting for his voice. I’ve listened and followed. I’ve sacrificed income, time, effort, peace in my home, peace with my friends, and career advancement for obedience to his calling. And for what? For a mini-ministry that is supported by so few. I’m absolutely exhausted, mentally, spiritually, and even physically from spending every vacation banging out website updates and working on the WG (Wisdom of God) curriculum.

So today again, I cried through church. Discouraged. I find myself again, after four years answering my husband’s call, “You have to go to work—” finding myself a little wiser, having worked for a business consultant for four years, but again, in need of a job, since our product line was cut and I was let go.

So discouraged.

And yet.

He won’t stop whispering, “Take the next step.”

I cried on my husband’s shoulders all the way home, and God bless him, he encouraged me to follow through with what God’s calling me to do next on this project. I need to build in products and a t-shirt, a cache of social media posts, emails, and to move the website over to Wordpress.

Can I tell you? There’s a whole world of faith out there, and lots of people have big enthusiastic faith, but a mustard seed is all I have left. I’m weary of rejection. I’m weary of cynicism. I’m weary of people telling me it’s not a good idea for this reason or that. And I don’t care anymore. I don’t care if you agree that this needs to be done. I don’t care. I don’t care if it goes nowhere. I surrender. Because I’ve tried to set it down, but when I do, my whole strength leaves me and my spirit goes to a deep dark place. The only place where I am sustained is in hope. A little sliver of hope keeps reminding me that with a mustard seed of faith we can move mountains. And I sure do hope so, because I’m tired. But I will take the next step. I don’t even have faith that it will be fruitful. I just barely have enough faith to take the next step.

I will press forward, press forward just once more. I’m thankful for this window of free time I have, which is uncanny timing—losing my job just a month before the Squarespace subscription needs renewed, just enough time to rebuild the website onto Wordpress. I will press forward, and make that t-shirt, create those social media posts, and look up at the last billboard—which has not yet been taken down even though its subscription is expired (little miracles)—and I will hide its message in my heart, while I face a new era (again uncanny timing) “Behold, I am doing a new thing.” God still whispers, “Everything will be fine,” and I say, “Will it?” because I am doubting Thomas, and I won’t believe it til I see it.

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. –Isaiah 43:19

God is always doing something new. Every new fingerprint. Every new wave. Every new snowflake. What is he doing new for you? Be full of anticipation.

I’ll tell you one new thing that will be happening. Getting more contrast on those billboards! It was pretty in the file, but in real life you can barely read it—ugh!

Why God doesn’t always call us to operate according to the deadline driven growth that we’re accustomed to seeing in the corporate world

Three and a half years have gone by since this organization was formed. After starting it, gathering my initial email list, and diving in—I disappeared. Absence might appear to be inaction, but nothing could be further from the truth. The past three years have been a learning curve, a spiritual seismic wave, and what can I say? The ministry hasn’t died yet. As I’ve resurfaced from being underwater for three years, one friend verbalized what many people might be thinking. “We haven’t heard from you—I wasn’t sure you were working on this project anymore.”

There are two reasons for silence and lack of communication. Those two reasons are 1) The importance of protecting my family, and 2) Behind-the-scenes things I was working on.

For those who like to skim, key points are in bold ;)

1 Family In Ministry

About ten years ago, I watched a family called into ministry crumble to pieces. There’s so much to their story, but the bottom line is that the pressures of ministry, and the personal strains that accompanied that, left them without a marriage. Consequently they lost their ministry in the process. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first time I’d seen this, but this was the closest I’d been to it and the grief of seeing my dear friends’ marriage crumble was a huge lesson to me: Put too much stress on your family for your ministry calling, and you might lose both your family and your ministry. It’s not in any way, shape, or form that I can see the destruction of a family to be part of God’s plan for a ministry. I determined quite literally, it would be better to lose a ministry to keep a family. A few months ago, it was excruciating to surrender this ministry in a willingness to let it go, but then, for some reason, some of the pressures lifted, and we’re still stepping forward.

I have a degree in Education. One of the classes that impacted me the most was Early Childhood Development. In that class I learned the importance of time with children. Time. This simple thing feels so insignificant when you’re doing it; but it’s so critical. Time with children, and I would argue spouses as well, creates foundations of trust, well-being, happiness, and serves to increase positive mental health. Time spent in care and attention safeguards family members from feeling like they need to seek love outside the family unit for the love that they were designed to receive inside the family. The lessons of seeing ministry families fall apart gave me a strong determination never to do that. So I have tried to protect my time with my family; and I hope I’ll be able to keep that perspective.

What this means is that I only have a fraction of the time that I need to do this ministry well. Designs are put out half-baked. The website needs improvements that it may not get. I could be fundraising and applying for grants. But that is absolutely beyond my scope. I work for a business consultant right now, and one of her key phrases of advice is, “functional not fancy.” It’s become my mantra—is ‘functional not fancy’ what I want? No. LOL. I love fancy. Does it work? Sigh, yes it’s fine. I have a list a mile long of things that need to be done for Wisdom of God, and I’ll probably do one or two of them this year. It’s so supremely frustrating. This slowness has taxed my faith to the core. But I hear encouragement in my spirit when I pray. Just take the next little step. Keep pressing forward. Trust. Relax. Let it go—let your expectations go.

And so I will trust. I will trust that this ministry doesn’t need to fly forward until it does. I will put my trust in God’s timing. I will take the next step forward even though I want to take five. This is the lot that I’ve been given, and it would be a defiance of faith to throw it in the trash. So here I go, off and … not running; more like sliding forward in a trail of goo like a snail. Getting nowhere fast. Like maybe if I work really hard, I can make it halfway across the sidewalk. Let’s hope someone doesn’t step on me on the way. Yeah. That’s my vibe exactly!

So this next four years, while my youngest finishes high school, it may well be that the only thing I get done is slowly create the visual curriculum that will serve as the foundation for this ministry in the future. If we get enough supporters to regularly put up one billboard a month; that will be a bonus.

2 What has been done

In the last few years I was able to do get done what I probably could’ve done in about three months at work. I created Version 3 of the website. This version is a culmination of the knowledge accrued from the mistakes of Versions 1 and 2. It does not try to teach everything about God on the first page (lol, who ever thought someone could do that hahahahaha—yeah. I did). It has a defined outcome and goal—to encourage viewers to take a next step of faith. It has less of my agenda and more of a scriptural basis—which is always the goal of this organization. While I would like to see improvements to the design, this website will probably serve as a solid basis for the foundation of Wisdom of God.

In addition to that, the Intro to the Bible Guide has been written. Many people questioned why I needed to reinvent the wheel, when there are plenty of similar guides out there. But having reviewed many Bible guides, there was one key problem. I don’t know what it is, but Christian writers love to weave the threat of hell into every evangelical piece. And honestly, it’s not how God evangelizes new people. Don’t believe me? Read your Bible with a focus on how God evangelizes those who knew nothing of him. There needed to be a Bible Guide that had an absence of threats of hell and promises of heaven—trying to muscle people into belief. Truthfully, the knowledge of the Word of God itself is astronomically more powerful in its ability to save than any persuasive arguments.

Three years. It kills me that it took three years to do these two things. If I had stayed in contact with my supporters and mailing list during this time, it would have taken much longer, since the time it takes to compose emails and communications is not insignificant. I questioned God through this time. Why didn’t he provide a way forward faster? Why weren’t people called into support of this ministry? It actually wasn’t until I finished it that people started to say, “Oh wow, this is a cool project.” It was a long, lonely road. I’m so glad this last three years is behind me. Now I’m ready to move [slowly] into the next era

So what’s next?

I have a laundry list of things that need to be done. Is anyone reading this? Are you still reading this?! Ha ha! If you are tell me. I don’t know if anyone will. But this will be a good reference even for myself as I move forward into the next phase.

1. Create the Curriculum. Top priority— this is based on prayer, experimentation, and observation over the last twenty years, I know what needs to be built—a six year curriculum that goes through key verses in the whole Bible. The images created in these four years will be somewhat of a rough draft of what the full launch will look like.

2. Revamp the Website. The current website is on Squarespace. Squarespace, are you listening? Squarespace has been great for creating a full-service website, but it’s expensive, and for it’s cost, its design capabilities are frustratingly clunky. I’m familiar with Wordpress and it’s a much more robust platform. I would love to see the whole website rebuilt on Wordpress with some design improvements, but at this point it feels like a luxury I might not have.

3. Create Products. One of the things that God convicted me of a couple years into this website is that he didn’t just want the audience of this ministry served with his love, but he wanted the supporters served with his love as well. This is a huge puzzle to me, and these next few years I’ll be actively thinking on this. What do Christians with a heart to see God’s love shared with the public need and want? What would delight them and make them feel seen, heard, and loved? Encouraged forward? Built up? More victorious in their Christian lives? These are products that need to be created and sold to support this organization and support Christians in their lives. One idea is to become sort of a Christian Etsy or Christian bookstore. Because of money and time, we’ll have to start with our own products; but eventually I would like to see artists, musicians, and teachers supported in this space.

4. Support Myself. Are you familiar with the term tentmaker? Paul and other apostles in the New Testament made tents to support their own ministry. I reflect on the last ten years or so that I’ve been working on this ministry and I was alarmed recently when I realized the amount of financial gain our family has forgone over the years. To show for it, we have floors that need to be refinished, wobbly kitchen cabinets, appliances that need replacing, front and back steps that need rebuilt, medical bills that pile up, medical needs that aren’t being addressed because of limited budget, and let’s not talk about our retirement savings—Hahahaha (laughing instead of crying).
   
   Thank God for my optimistic husband. When I confessed how much we’d sacrificed for this project, his response was, “Don’t even think about it. If this is what God has called you to do, then what else would you have done? We’ll be fine.”
   
   In the next four years one of my main focuses may be (this is still in prayerful consideration) to create a marketing business that will allow me to create more income in less time than my 9-5, and allow me to both support my income and carve out more time to manage this ministry. I have the same qualms about that as I did with my freelancing business—to establish a book of clients that depend on me for their marketing when my loyalties will be clearly divided between them and this ministry—it doesn’t seem fair to them. Or will it be fine—to look at this ministry as simply another client, and structure my business well to serve multiple clients? It’s the only way forward that I can see right now, so for this endeavor, I think of Proverbs 19:21 and wonder how it will actually play out: Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

So we’ll see! I hold all of these things loosely in my hands, fully aware that God could have something completely different in store. And by the grace of God, I will endeavor to proceed carefully, stepping forward into the next small task.

Onward and Upward!

Love,
Jessica

Photo: Joe Boyle

If you've never done a 501c3 Application, you may not know what a big deal this is! Dotting i's, crossing t's, refining a business plan to comply with IRS law, it's a tremendous job.

The process of applying for 501c3 tax-exempt status is designed to ensure that money is not misspent and that tax-exempt organizations are accountable. It's a very good thing, and helped us apply a framework to our priorities, laying a foundation for sound growth. We couldn't be more thrilled to land where we are now, ready to grow with an amazing Board of Directors, a budgetary framework that allows for solid and controlled expansion, and a streamlined vision for communicating the good news of the gospel WELL. 

A great big thank you to Nancy Virden, who is acting as our Business Organizational Manager, and who spent over a hundred hours sifting through legal information to ensure that this application was done right. 

Nancy has a degree in Business Organizational Management, and is the founder of Always the Fight Ministries, designed to provide a lifeline of hope to those fighting mental illness or abuse. 

We are so excited to announce: 

Our first billboard is UP!! 

A big thank you to all those who helped with the design, and to Joe Boyle for contributing his photo for the background!! 

Our commitment in communication is to speak the life and hope of Christ into our communities. 

“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.”

— Jesus Christ, John 3:17

Following in Christ's footsteps of ministry first means receiving the benefits of ministry ourselves.

The life of Christ, from the beginning, through his life on earth, up until now, and through eternity, provides inspiration that has the potential to lead us towards effective influence in the world around us. While he was with us, he layered multiple modes of ministry and service into one singular focus of drawing people closer to God. We are discipled by Christ himself as we set out to serve him. Are we receiving inspiration from God along our way? Are we in tune to his guidance?

Receiving discipleship and service from others also provides us with much needed strength and wisdom. As Christians, we can forget that we need to be the recipients of input as well. In God's orchestration, are we receiving discipleship, influence from our churches, wisdom in prayer? Are we ready  and open to hearing what God might say to us through those around us? In our need, who is available to help us?

As we receive, so we give. If we desire to see our lives impact the health of our community physically, emotionally, and spiritually, an observation of Christ's ministry gives us a handy pile of tools to help make that happen. Sometimes we look out over our personal lives, in our businesses, or in our organizations, and wonder why we are not seeing lives renewed for Christ. If we line up his ministry alongside our lives, it can help us see what changes need to be made to take us to a better place and make us more effective.

Observing the framework of Christ's ministry can make us more effective leaders in faith.

Discipleship Meant Being in the Game Together

Has the church minimized discipleship to a weekly coffee date? I feel like it may have. Christ's discipleship was very different. It included daily interaction and complete integration into his work. Who he chose and what he did give us so much insight into how he was able to raise up day laborers into a force that awakened the early church.

Who are you being discipled by?
How are you being discipled by Christ?
What do you have to offer those around you?
Are you ready to step out in ministry and call others to as well, or do you feel a need to learn from and be trained by others?
Who has God given you who needs what you have?

He Participated Fully in the Temple

The Temple was the religious institution of Jesus' day, and he didn't shy away from it. Christians organize around the church, but some are disillusioned with organized religion. A judgmental glance here, not enough help there. These things can discourage us from participation in a larger body. But corporate worship is powerful. Meeting with others who are specifically seeking God is critical to our spiritual health. Wrestling through issues of ministry is an important route to effecting change in the world.

What is Church? 
Why participate in church? 
Select a healthy organization 

His Quiet Place to Pray Brought Big Answers

Jesus said, "Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise." (John 5:19) The prayers of Jesus must have included much more listening than we're accustomed to. As a church, are we proclaiming our own visions, or are we keeping an open ear to God's call as we move forward?  What about at the office, or around our neighbors? Are we busy crying out for our own needs, or are we willing to trust him for our needs and follow his call forward into ministry for others?

Consider an area you're struggling in and ask, "What would you like me to do here?" and wait and listen. God's answer may come immediately, or you may receive wisdom later through reading His Word or talking with someone. Keep your ears open.

Jesus Performed Acts of Service, Revealing God's Purposes in a Personal Way as He Went

I've seen the church divided into two camps. Those who evangelize, and those who perform acts of service and social justice. But the most effective ministries do both. As Jesus healed and provided for peoples' needs, he was actively aware of how God was working in a very personal way. He didn't have a Christian speech at the ready, he was attentive to the needs of each individual, both physically and spiritually. If we're attentive to what God is doing, any act of service that we do can bring revelatory change to the world.

We are servants of all. Some service is glamorous and some is not. God sees your work and can add life to what you do. If you feel inspired to speak along your way, don't be afraid to share what's on your mind.

He Spoke on the Mountaintops to Thousands of People

Society was deeply divided politically in the time of Christ. There were people with very specific agendas. But Jesus did not spend the majority of his time reacting to specific issues. If he had, he'd have been pigeonholed by his opinion on hot-button topics. When Jesus had an audience of thousands, he went back to the basics: Who God is, personal responsibility to love our neighbors, marital wholeness, and God's invested care of each person's wellbeing. These foundational educations may sound naive, but they are the foundation of change in a society. As Christians, we need to speak up. Not arguing this platform or the other, but proactively inserting ourselves into our culture and training the public in the basics of love, life, and God.

Who has inspired you to change? 

Was it a teacher who took you under their wing, noticing your work and taking the time to give you the attention you needed? Great coaches see all their players' potential and care about their wellbeing. Sometimes it's a pastor, who patiently answers questions, or whose messages filled inspire a closer walk with God, greater trust, and inspire the courage to cast aside the sins that are holding you back. 

The inspiration of these leaders is no accident. They're motivating because insomuch as they're patterned after the Greatest Leader, they breathe more abundant life into those under their care. 

But leadership doesn't stop with receiving and growing under great leadership. We too are called to be leaders like this. As we enter the world of Christianity, as we receive the great love that has been offered us and grasp the greatness of the grace that we have received, we enter a royal priesthood and become ministers of his grace to the world. 

What kind of leaders will we be? 

We can look to the leaders around us and we can look to the greatest leader of all, God himself. 

Walk in Love 

1 Corinthians 13 describes the love of God. If you have received this love, if his love has ever washed over you, this description will make sense. Patient, kind, sacrificial, and slow to anger. It is this love that governs all that our Lord does. We must receive it fully in order to have it to give. Read 1 Corinthians 13 » and take time to consider his great love for you and all of us. 

Listen & Assess

Assessment is a critical step to teaching. Learning where a student is and responding thoughtfully to their current understanding and abilities is the key to good teaching. God always assessed his students first. He knew that the Pharaoh that Joseph was working for was teachable and held integrity. He rewarded Pharaoh with the knowledge that he was the Living God and that he had the power to provide for the future. Moses' Pharaoh on the other hand, proved to be power hungry and fear driven. After many chances, he faced dire consequences. 

God knows where each heart is. He has already assessed everyone around us. The only way we can build the kingdom effectively is to act in love, with patience and kindness, and consider what God is having us do with a listening ear both to him and to the people we've been given. 

Teach with Patient Wisdom

If you read through the Old Testament, observe and watch how God taught those who were listening.

1. He first revealed himself and laid out instructions.
2. Then he shared the hope that was offered through obedience to those instructions.
3. Warnings for disobedience spelled out the consequences that would follow. 
4. Rewards or consequences followed obedience or disregard
5. Hope and forgiveness were offered upon true repentance and dismay. 
6. These steps have been repeated and repeated throughout history. They also represent a deft management plan for any nation, corporation, classroom, sports team, or organization. 

"The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:9

If the Lord is patient, let us also step back, and take the time to proceed with wisdom and purpose. Considering our words, and speaking with gentleness. 

The Exception of Authority

There were times in history when God was furious. Times when he held back his hands even in his wrath, and times when he rained down judgment. Rape, habitual thievery, child sacrifice, incessant violence are some of the things that have incurred the terrifying wrath of God. The God of heaven has sometimes confronted people like this and called people to repentance, and other times wiped out entire nations. He's done it himself and he's called the governments of nations to do so. Condemnation and judgement are his place, not ours, and his prophets are called clearly. Do not default to this condemnation, but default to the care and kindness that Christ demonstrated his entire life. 

““But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.””

— 1 Peter 2:9

At the Wisdom of God Corporation, we have received the great love and mercy of God. We have been broken by the world, faced the consequences of our own actions, and built up by the patient teaching and discipline of God. We have received this through his revealed Word, through the Holy Spirit, and through his people, which have all conspired to help us walk in newness of life. If you would like to join us in our commitment to share the truths we have learned with the world,  sign up for our newsletter today and join the project to share good news with the world.  

Featured Photo by Justyn Warner on Unsplash